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15 February 2008 @ 11:02 pm
Week #6: Entry #1 [So, This is death...]  
Slogging through the thick opal mud, in some dank swamp, Jet was grumbling. He was dead. Not just dead, totally soul-thrown-from-body-into-the-pits-of-the-spirit-world dead. Damn, what a way to go. He lying on the cold stone floor of Lake Laogai, staring into the eyes of Smellerbee and Longshot, asphyxiating blood. The next minute he was thrown into a puddle of green slime. Butt-naked. Jet quickly assumed that he was dead. And the nakedness was the fact that souls don’t wear clothes. Well that did suck. Still Jet figure he could will some illusion of clothing so at least he didn’t have to wade through the swamp nude. Now at least he had trousers. Bright lime green trousers actually with cream yellow lemons on them. Why? He didn’t know, maybe he was craving lemon tarts when he willed pants on.

Now still in the swamp, Jet was wondering what was going to happen next. According to lore, Jet was wondering in the bardos of the underworld, eventually he would be judged to, paradise, reincarnation or eternal damnation. Jet hoped the former two would be his sentence. He didn’t know what the latter options would be like. I hope there are some cute girls in paradise…it isn’t fair I died a virgin. Mused the freedom fighter as he nearly tripped a branch. Now he reached large cave with sign that said new souls: Enter here figuring that this might be judgment he walked in.

What Jet found was long line of various people, some were naked like he was previously others actually managed clothes. He saw older fire nation man with scowl in a tunic and mutton chops. Jet frowned at him and saw a very cocky looking water tribe boy. His skin was more mauve than the rich caramel that his people normal wore. Jet figured that his guy might have frozen to death. Yikes. He heard his name.

“Jet! Soul number 378.” Called a voice, Jet sauntered down from the line to a booth in back. His Judge….a large, green, frog wearing a pale yellow tunic, the frog was apparently one of King Enma’s lackeys. His bulging yellow eyes and large throat sac mad him both comical and dire.

“I am Yao Ta Bo, I will be your judge, hmm lets go through your files.” With a ribbit a manila folder two inches thick appeared Jet life-file apparently. The freedom fighter gulped as Yao looked through it.

“Well you’re childhood was normal except for the raid that destroyed your family…hmm the Freedom Fighter thing had good intentions. But the whole total war thing, well I guess that didn’t work out with the Avatar around.” The frog gave a throaty chuckle. Jet pouted, he didn’t like where his was going. No way was eternal suffering was going to be his sentence. Yao Ta Bo continued.

“Despite your obsession with the Fire Nation your twisted sense of justice and your brainwashing, it looks like you live a rather short but wild life. Maybe you need second chance.” The great green amphibian ribbited a few times and looked at Jet.

“Ummm so I am not going to Hell?” Jet meekly asked to the frog-spirit. Yao Ta Bo shook his head.

“Nope, that’s too harsh for you, reincarnation it is! You’ll be reborn as citizen of the Fire Nation!” Jet looked stunned, he spent his whole life hating that race and now he was going to end up one?!

“Wait! Can’t we reconsider this? How about as Water tribe? I could be a water bender, How about that.” Yao ribbited a no and shook his head.

“Lord Emna decided that this next life would be ironic twist to the seemless irony in your life.” Jet decided he would have to beg.

“Oh pleaaaasse! Can’t we make a deal! Anything, just don’t let me be reincarnated…as Fire Nation!” Yao Ta Bo was getting sadistic amusement in this, normally souls that are to be reincarnated are ushered down a hall of couples making love, and they pick one of them for parents. Emna decided to by-pass that and picked out Jet’s parents for him. The frog had sadistic grin.

“Last words?” Jet gave a pleading look; Yao shrugged and pulled the lever behind his oak desk. “See you in your next life Soul 378.” Jet felt the floor open up, and fell down the hole screaming. Yao ribbited,

“Next? Hahn and Zhao?” 

In out of the spirit world screaming, out of the womb screaming, a new born infant was born in small village on a Fire Nation island. The new body was cold and hungry and wanted his mother. The child has handed to a tired looking woman, and in the back of the mind of the new child, was a thought

I can believe I came out of the womb for this sh*t! Reincarnation sucks!!